Direct from Heaven, God TV

Against my better judgment, I allowed Tim to get satellite TV yesterday. I know how that sounds: no, I am not one of those spouses who have to be in on every little decision their beloved makes (although he could probably save himself a lot of bother if this were our arrangement, hee hee), but in this instance I demanded input. And I resisted. For a long time. Because satellite TV isn't cheap, and it sure isn't necessary, and given his viewing habits (he habitually turns on the box as soon as he walks through the front door) I have a real fear of never having a meaningful conversation with him ever again. He finally won me over by doing his pouty puppy face (he can make himself look amazingly like that golden lab who advertises toilet paper) and last night, after a man had come and fixed a wee gray dish to our roof, we stayed in and watched the Colbert Report.
For those not living in the US, Stephen Colbert is a screamingly funny comedian who pretends to be an arch-conservative pundit with an arch-conservative punditry program. In his opening credits he scowls meaningfully and waves a huge American flag as an eagle flies overhead. Stephen Colbert is my #1 secret crush. San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom, aka Mayor Hunky, is #2.
So, that will be a weekly treat. But among our 200 channels – yes, 200, the naughty scamp – we also get at least three home shopping channels, several of the Lifetime family of channels broadcasting terrible Tori Spelling dramas and the like, the Military channel, and, get this, God TV. I couldn’t stomach the Military channel, but I did briefly check in with God TV and was disappointed to find a very ordinary looking man with an electric blue tie leading some kind of chat show. I had hoped for more.
The unexpected bonus of getting expensive, unnecessary satellite TV? We discovered a door leading to the roof of our building. When you go up there you can see the Golden Gate Bridge.